The other day, the infamous “Putin’s confessor” and “Metropolitan of Simferopol and Crimea” Tikhon (Shevkunov) decided to make a mark with a new PR initiative related to his “brainchild”, a propaganda remake on the ruins of ancient Chersonesus, namely the idea of ​​​​building an “anti-cafe” there with the “working title” “At Khryunston and Kobi”.
Tikhon, without further ado, took the name of this commercial facility of “New Chersonesus”, probably with an eye “on the youth”, from the nicknames of his two dogs, reminding in social networks that he also has a cat named Vladyka.
It should be noted that earlier the same Tikhon “became famous” not only for herding Crimean students to a “night prayer service” in the new building in Khersones and demolishing the rotunda at the site of the probable baptism of Prince Vladimir, but also for “opening” a drain dug, done by the military occupiers in the form of an “unplanned project” drain, the “Heroon River”, stating that Vladimir allegedly “was baptized there”.
The “exiled metropolitan” came up with the name of this artificial drainage himself, having drawn it, however, not from some Christian texts, but from the ancient, that is, entirely pagan naming of cemeteries, that is, as a river of the dead.
Now, after the announcement of the “dog anti-cafe”, Tikhon really managed to open a portal to another world, albeit in the context of responding to the “fateful initiative” from Sevastopol residents on social networks.
Religious citizens ask rhetorical questions, “maybe animals can now be Orthodox too,” pointing out that “what kind of humiliation we still have to go through,” “who came up with such an object of servility and humiliation of parishioners,” when “they decided to immortalize the names of the beloved dogs of a clergyman,” talking about “devilry” and that “Tikhon can do anything, he is the bishop.”
Other Sevastopol residents in response “innocently wonder” whether “visiting an establishment named after dogs will offend the feelings of believers,” immediately answering themselves that “it will offend even the feelings of non-believers.” They state that the “cradle of Orthodoxy” from “Putin’s confessor” has “names from mythology and dog names”, where from “the river of the dead, they moved on to dog names”, which “reminds one of “Khryusha and Stepashka” from Soviet TV.
The city people also sarcastically pointed out that the “anti-cafe” corresponds to the general concept of this new building as an “anti-museum”, that “the insanity is growing stronger”, and also that “this is an establishment for quadrobers… judging by the name”, emphasizing “the senselessness and harmfulness of this mouse fuss”.
The Sevastopol residents were also not impressed by Tikhon’s “politically relevant” statements about his dog, that he “should have been called Winston, since he is an Anglo-Saxon breed, but since we have unfriendly relations, for now he is Khryunston”, with reference to Russian word for pigs’ grunting.
Regarding this “pooping Englishwoman” in the person of the Metropolitan bulldog, the townspeople pointed out: “the impression from what I read is that I am in a parallel reality” and “what should I do with this knowledge now? I hope he has not acquired other pets to perpetuate their nicknames”.
Sevastopol residents state that “if it was possible to build a pseudo-historical “fortified settlement” for many billions …, which has no relation whatsoever to history, the Greeks, or Christianity, then you can do whatever you want on this territory,” adding that Chersonesos “only needs to change its name so as not to confuse it with holy places. For example, leave only the first part of the name of the ancient city. Three letters are quite enough”, referring to “Χερ” or “Cher” as dick in Slavic languages.
As an alternative, Tikhon’s new building is offered the name “NewChers,” with “the stress on the first syllable,” and also, “in accordance with its essence,” “Tihon Dreamland,” pointing out that “our Chersonesos, which no longer exists, has been turned into some kind of glitches and psychedelia. The main thing is fences and priests’ outbuildings with bars.”
It is also noted sarcastically that “it’s boring, let’s have a New Chersonesos anti-striptease and anti-casino”, and that “maybe a brewery will appear there soon”, and they suggest calling the establishment “Anticafe Kennel named after Comrade Shevkunov”.
The city people call this “anti-museum” with its “anti-cafe” a shopping and entertainment center, noting that “that’s how it should be treated. Orthodoxy and history have nothing to do with it. I haven’t been there and I won’t go, because even if I happen to pass by, I still know that everything was hastily put together in recent years, and half of the money went to the personal enrichment of the Ivanovs and others involved”, mentioning the infamous accomplice of Tikhon and Sergei Shoigu, aggressor’s “chief military builder”.
It is stated that in the new building “the feeling of authenticity for which we loved the real Chersonesos is immediately lost”, where “it was possible to walk along the seashore without … new buildings, fences and security”. Declaring that “they desecrated and spoiled my Chersonesos”, the city people write that “at least we will have the memory of that real museum-reserve”.
Another Sevastopol resident writes that “I also no longer go to Chersonesos. It remained in my memory, in my heart, that beloved and native Chersonesos”, and another townsman, summing up Tikhon’s current PR in his motivation, draws a basic conclusion: “apparently things are really bad for New Chersonesos, if there is advertising about it from every iron”.
Let us add that this whole story with the Khryunstons clearly emphasizes the remoteness of the Kremlin’s “Orthodox Orthodox” not only from Christianity or from religion in general, but also from reality and common sense.

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